I have been extremely resistant to the idea of blogging. I am not sure I can even communicate why, but here is what I have come up with:
I have been fearful of blogging because I am keenly aware of my short-comings. I have never considered myself very witty, sarcastic, or full of charisma. Nor have I considered myself a good story-teller. I’m the one that shares too many details or gets side-tracked in the telling the story that the point of the story suddenly does not seem as interesting. The personality and winsomeness that I perceive as I read other people’s words intimidates me. I think they are so great. I really like them – even if I have never met them. This is not a self-esteem problem, it is just an honest assessment of how I perceive things. I genuinely like myself – I just would not describe myself the way I picture the people whose words I enjoy reading. So I have wondered if my words will be helpful to others.
Then there is the fear that I will be judged, or I will say something that offends. In written words, it is not always easy to understand a person’s heart behind what they write. I fear that my heart will not be evident and that people will perceive my words as empty or shallow or lacking love. Fear.
If there is anything I have learned in life, it is that fear should never be a driving force or a stopping force.
The thing about the internet is that it affords us the chance to “interact” with people we do not even know and who do not know us. If you do not know me in real life, then you are unaware that I did not grow up going to church. I was oblivious about the stories in the Bible until I was in college. You also do not know that when I come to a conclusion on something, I believe it with every fiber of my being – even if it is just the simple truths that those who grew up in a christian home have somehow “just always believed.” I do not throw out pieces of truth unless I deeply believe they are true. You wouldn’t know that if you do not know me in real life.
So you do not necessarily know me, but as I throw some written words out there, you have an opportunity to get to know me. That is a little scary and vulnerable for me. I can not control how you are perceiving things or understanding my words. I can not read your facial expressions to know whether or not my words have hit home in a good way or hit a sour note. I do not have the opportunity to clarify if something is unclear. All I can do is write what is in my heart – what I feel called to share – and hope and trust that God will work it all out. So that is the plan.
I hope to share words that bring life to others. I hope I am not a tool that the enemy uses to confuse or cause harm. I feel I have spoken enough about myself in this post. Focusing on my short-comings (or perceived short-comings) does no one any good. God has each one of us here on earth for special reasons and he is committed to using anyone who will let Him. I believe one of the reasons we are all here is to love others as best as we can. (I got this idea from Jesus in Matthew 22:36-40) God is the source of power behind why some people’s words are impactful. I pray my words (hopefully they are His words) hit the heart and produce good fruit. It is His Spirit that weaves a nice blanket of truth that brings the true and lasting comfort a person needs. I pray and trust He can use me to do that. So blogging world, here I come…
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” ~2 Corinthians 1:3-4