Boss of My Life

Thursday, I had an interesting conversation with my daughter as I was trying to help her learn a valuable lesson about responsibility.  I had asked her to clean her room at the beginning of the week and every day since.  She MAY have cleaned up a few things over the course of the week, but her room was still a disaster.  In the spirit of Love and Logic parenting, Todd and I are committed to not nagging our children to do something.  We present the options and give them choices.  Alliyah had the opportunity to clean her room all week.  She chose not to seize those opportunities, so on Thursday she was presented with a natural consequence from her week-long choices.


We were going to watch a movie as a family.  Usually when we have family movie nights, we make smoothies and popcorn for dinner.  Yes, that is our dinner – don’t judge.  I told Alliyah the plans and that we would start everything at 5:30.  I let her know that I hoped her room would be clean in time for her to join us.  She was NOT happy about the natural consequence that was being spelled out.  She said to me, “What if I promise to get my room clean tomorrow?”  I explained that she had been given all week to clean her room and had not yet done so.  Her rebuttal, “But I didn’t promise to do it the other days, like I am for tomorrow.”


Unfortunately for her, the promise of procrastination was not going to work, so for the next hour she whined and cried while working on cleaning her room.  She let us know that she was frustrated in more ways than one.  At one point she whined, “I wish I could be the boss of my own life.”  I knew darn well what she was getting at.  She wanted to be able to do what she wanted when she wanted to do it – and that did not include cleaning her room right now.  I explained to her, “Daddy and I are trying to teach you how to be responsible so you CAN be a good boss of your life.  But you are not ready to be the boss of your life, you wouldn’t do a very good job of it right now.”


From the moment I became a Christian, the name “Lord” was the most comfortable way for me to address God, but I did not really understand what it meant.  In the last couple months, I have heard a few sermons that have reminded me of the importance of this name for God.  A “lord” is a master.  When God is the “Lord” of someone’s life, he has been given control.  He is the boss.


Since God gave mankind free will, God can not be the Lord, or master, of a person’s life without that person willingly giving God that title.  Even after the title is granted, most of us have a hard time really giving the control of our lives back over to God.  We might let him be Lord in some areas, but we reserve other areas as the things we get to be in charge of.  You know what those areas are.


So what would it look like to let God be Lord when it comes to fertility?  What if you let him truly be in charge?  What if He got to make all the decisions, He got to determine your steps?  Would your experience be different from what you are currently experiencing?


I want God to be the boss of my life.  Some times I act like I don’t, but deep down, I trust Him.  I trust his goodness.  I believe his ways are higher and better than mine.  Sometimes I just need a little encouragement and reassurance…


“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.  ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

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Welcome to!  I am so glad you are here. This space was created when my life story was not following the path I expected.  For years, infertility was the main topic of my wrestle.  These days, I find myself sorting through the mental chaos of mothering, wife-ing, friend-ing, teacher-ing, daughter-ing and what-is-my-life-purpose-ing.  As I try to steady my thoughts and park them in a healthy place, God has made one thing clear:  maintaining hope in Him is the key. Check out my blog for a window into my story.

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