Anonymous

Confession:  I have been avoiding you.  Please don’t take this personally.  I haven’t been avoiding YOU.  I have been avoiding the collective you – all.  I have not blogged for a very long time.  (I just realized I have only blogged twice in the past year)  I have had a million blog ideas swirling around in my head for months, many started and left open in a browser window, but I have not sat down and completed anything.  I have been avoiding it.  Why?   I had ideas in my head of what I needed to do if I were to commit to this blogging thing.  I would need to blog every day, or every other day, or at least once a week.  Committing to any sort of frequency overwhelms me.   I will admit that I am extremely slow on the draw when it comes to social media.  I have never Snapchatted.  I have Twitter and Linked-In accounts, but honestly don’t remember the last time I looked at either.  I only recently learned that Periscope exists and I am sure there are a myriad of other cool, creative ways to stay in touch with people that I have zero clue about.  I have never been the social butterfly in real life, so the idea of flitting around in cyberspace has never really appealed to me.  I remember life without the internet.  It was simpler.  I like simple.   Yet here I am, on the computer, contemplating about sending my musings out into the vast unknown of the internet.  I am not techie, so the whole concept of the internet utterly amazes me.  Somehow I will type these words out and post them on a webpage (that my cousin had to build for me and another friend had to set up on his server) and then the whole world could see it if they want to.   The whole world.   The chances of someone in India or Australia or China or Chile reading these words is slim because the people there do not even know I exist.  I am[…]

Robbers

A couple weeks ago, I was sitting with Joshua (my 5 year old) in one of the hallways of Alliyah’s school, waiting for Alliyah to be done with an after school meeting.  Joshua observed a mom getting into the locker of her child and leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, “Mom, is that a robber?”  I tried really hard to stifle my laughter because he was dead serious.  I carefully explained that the women getting into the locker was most likely the mother of the student who used that locker, so it was okay for her to get into the locker.  He simply replied, “Oh.”  It was an honest question.   Later that week, Joshua and I were talking about potential names for his soon-to-be-born baby brother.  As you can imagine, we have had some pretty creative and hysterical suggestions.  During the conversation, we were talking about the full names of everyone in our family.  Then Joshua asks, “Is Daddy a robber?”  It quickly dawned on me that Joshua had been mis-hearing Todd’s middle name.  Instead of hearing “Robert,” he heard “Robber.”  Todd Robber Heerlyn.  Again, I had to try hard not to laugh out loud.   All this talk of “robbers” has gotten me thinking about a deeper spiritual reality that is playing out.  There is so much that goes on in the spiritual realm that we do not see.  Because we can not see it, it can be easy to forget it exists.  But the bible tells us to be on guard because the devil is on the prowl looking for someone to devour.  There are spiritual forces of evil at work all the time.  Thankfully, there are also angels fighting on our behalf.  In reality, Jesus broke any real power the enemy had when he hung on the cross.  The enemy just does not want us to believe that is true.   Jesus addressed the enemy and called him a thief or a “robber,” implying that the enemy was in the business of taking things that do not belong to him.   “The thief[…]

Palm Sunday

  Confession:  I sometimes have a hard time getting in to celebrating religious holidays.  I did not grow up going to church very often, so terms like advent, passover, and palm Sunday had little to no meaning.  I celebrated Christmas and Easter, but with Santa and the Easter Bunny.   Now that I am learning to love God with all my heart, Christmas and Easter have such a richer, deeper meaning, but I still have a hard time celebrating them.   I think it feels a little insincere to make such a big deal of Jesus coming to earth only at Christmas or reflecting on what Jesus did on the cross only at Easter.  I want God to know how important I think it is that Jesus died for me every day of the year, not just on the anniversary of what he did.   But then I realize that my thinking is flawed.  If this same principle was applied across the board, I would need to stop celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, mother’s day, etc.   Here’s what I mean:   I love to celebrate birthdays.  I want the person to feel loved and valued and special every day of the year, but I think everyone should have one day a year that they feel extra special.  I doubt anyone who has received an extravagant celebration feels it was insincere, unless they do not feel loved and valued on the other 364 days of the year.   At the risk of being completely obvious, I will just say it:  If Easter is the only time of year that we reflect on what Jesus did, then we ARE being insincere.  If, however, on the other 364 days of the year we affirm what we celebrate on that ONE day of the year, then the extra celebration serves to more deeply root our love and commitment.   So I have concluded that it is good, and completely genuine, to take a day a year to go above and beyond in our thankfulness and adoration.  Just like in preparing for a birthday, some advanced[…]

Does God Poop?

  It’s an honest question.  Does God poop?  I have wondered many things about God, but I can’t say I have wondered about that.  I understand that putting God’s name in the same sentence as the word poop can be offensive to some people.  If that is you, I am sorry.  I mean no offense.  This is a valid question from the heart of a 4 year old who genuinely wants to know his Maker better.  As him mom, I will let him ask his questions, and I will encourage his genuine, childlike wonder.   We learn in school that there are no stupid questions.  Maybe that is true and maybe it isn’t, but one thing is true:  asking questions is what opens the door for greater understanding, if it is understanding we seek.  “Stupid” questions are usually not seeking greater understanding.   We know that God is more than capable and strong enough to handle any question we throw his way.  He is not shocked by our blatant honesty nor our sometimes flagrant disrespect.  He receives each question, knowing the longing in our hearts that fuels our questions (Luke 16:15).  He looks beyond what is said to the heart that the words come from.  He understands.   Asking questions can help us know God better as well as help us know others better.  We do not grow in relationship with someone by waiting around for them to offer information and insight.  We have to ask.  We ask because we want to know.  We ask because we want to show that we care about them.  We ask because that is the only way to grow closer to a person.   When we ask questions, we have the opportunity to grow in understanding, but merely asking questions does not guarantee we will gain understanding.  We have to WANT to gain understanding.  In doing so, we will ask good questions.   I don’t know about you, but I have been a part of many conversations where questions are asked, but the person ends up backing you into a corner rather than drawing[…]

Loveless Obedience

  “Do not touch things that do not belong to you.”  I feel like a broken record with my son.  He has far too much curiosity to remember the 500 times I have told him to not touch things that are not his.  The other day, he was playing with one of grandma’s figurines, and it broke.  Of course.  I told him not to touch it/play with it, but he could not resist.  The result was:  something that had value to someone else was broken.  Disobedience usually results in someone getting hurt.   It is hard for Joshua to learn this lesson because it does not hurt him when he breaks something that belongs to someone else.  It does not hurt him when he frustrates his sister by playing with her things.  The only “pain” he feels is the consequences that I impose on him, in order to help the message stick.  I give him a consequence because I want his heart to care.   The whole point of consequences is to turn the heart back on course.  The problem is, kids can learn to obey, mainly to avoid a consequence, but it does not mean that their heart has actually changed.  Do I want Joshua to learn to obey in order to avoid a negative consequence, or do I just want him to learn to respect other people’s things?  Obviously I want the latter.   In order to achieve a change of heart, the heart needs to be addressed and engaged.  When Joshua broke grandma’s glass elephant, his heart was touched when I explained how sad that would make grandma.  He suddenly felt awful and wished he had obeyed.  He learned the hard way, and unfortunately, someone else had to get hurt as well before the lesson began to sink in.  (Thankfully he is learning these lessons when the “hurt” is relatively minor)   We are God’s children and the obedience he calls us to plays by the same rules.  Our heart must be engaged in order for the obedience to have great value.   Lately, I feel like[…]

Welcome to unwaveringhope.com!  I am so glad you are here. This space was created when my life story was not following the path I expected.  For years, infertility was the main topic of my wrestle.  These days, I find myself sorting through the mental chaos of mothering, wife-ing, friend-ing, teacher-ing, daughter-ing and what-is-my-life-purpose-ing.  As I try to steady my thoughts and park them in a healthy place, God has made one thing clear:  maintaining hope in Him is the key. Check out my blog for a window into my story.

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