Why Blog?

I have been extremely resistant to the idea of blogging.  I am not sure I can even communicate why, but here is what I have come up with:   I have been fearful of blogging because I am keenly aware of my short-comings.  I have never considered myself very witty, sarcastic, or full of charisma.  Nor have I considered myself a good story-teller.  I’m the one that shares too many details or gets side-tracked in the telling the story that the point of the story suddenly does not seem as interesting.  The personality and winsomeness that I perceive as I read other people’s words intimidates me.  I think they are so great.  I really like them – even if I have never met them.  This is not a self-esteem problem, it is just an honest assessment of how I perceive things.  I genuinely like myself – I just would not describe myself the way I picture the people whose words I enjoy reading.  So I have wondered if my words will be helpful to others.   Then there is the fear that I will be judged, or I will say something that offends.  In written words, it is not always easy to understand a person’s heart behind what they write.  I fear that my heart will not be evident and that people will perceive my words as empty or shallow or lacking love.  Fear.   If there is anything I have learned in life, it is that fear should never be a driving force or a stopping force.   The thing about the internet is that it affords us the chance to “interact” with people we do not even know and who do not know us.  If you do not know me in real life, then you are unaware that I did not grow up going to church.  I was oblivious about the stories in the Bible until I was in college.  You also do not know that when I come to a conclusion on something, I believe it with every fiber of my being – even if it is[…]

Supremely Bummed

Supremely Bummed   Yesterday I received devastating news and it did not have anything to do with whether or not I was pregnant.  I guess a change is nice.  I had recently been offered a publishing contract, but yesterday they retracted their offer.  Supremely bummed is the best description I have for how I feel.   I was so excited to have my book available for those whose hearts are tender and fragile and in need of some encouragement.  For a short time, I thought self publishing in an e format would be good, so that those who are currently dealing with infertility could benefit right away.  The day after I submitted my book on Amazon, I received the offer for a book contract.  The thought of having my book in print was nothing short of thrilling, and I realized that a print copy of my book was probably a better tool than an e version.  I imagined how nice it would be for a friend to be able to hand a physical copy of my book to someone they love, letting them know that they are there for them.  When we are hurting, we are less likely to seek out a resource for ourselves, but if one is handed to us, we might just read it.   Unfortunately, the physical copy of my book may take longer to become a reality.  Putting my book on Amazon for 4 days was the reason my book was turned away even though I had not sold a book.  I literally had a publishing contract in my hands but had it taken away with no further explanation.  I did not know that publishing on Amazon for 4 days would cause a problem.  I wish I would have known that ahead of time, but I did not.  I would love to be able to ask the publisher why that was a stopping point for them, yet I am not sure if a greater explanation or more answers would help me feel better.  The truth is, I have only one choice:  learn how to move[…]

Welcome to unwaveringhope.com!  I am so glad you are here. This space was created when my life story was not following the path I expected.  For years, infertility was the main topic of my wrestle.  These days, I find myself sorting through the mental chaos of mothering, wife-ing, friend-ing, teacher-ing, daughter-ing and what-is-my-life-purpose-ing.  As I try to steady my thoughts and park them in a healthy place, God has made one thing clear:  maintaining hope in Him is the key. Check out my blog for a window into my story.

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