The Day My Patience Was Hiding

  The fruit of the Spirit is…love, joy, peace, PATIENCE…   Well, I was not real full of the Spirit.  I was full of something else, but it was not the Spirit of God.  Disappointment, frustration, anger, discouragement.  I was full of those things.   I’m sure you can imagine what spilled out of me in word form when I was feeling full of those things.  I didn’t want to be in my home that day and neither did any of my family members.   I concealed those foul emotions deep inside, but what came out of me was a complete lack of patience.  I overheard my daughter yelling at her brother, so of course, I came into the room to yell at her for yelling at her brother.  Not hypocritical, at all.   The 2nd born was banished to the basement (where his room is, lest you think I’m an absolute monster) before he got two words out.  I just couldn’t deal with his energy and incredible talent of riling up ALL his siblings.   The third born just stood and looked at me wide-eyed.  The fourth, is vocal about her opinions, and well, I was vocal about my feelings about her feelings.  I just couldn’t deal.   Everyone was miserable.  I was miserable.  I wanted to have patience, but my unresolved feelings about my circumstances were causing me to lose sight of God and his goodness.  I was living and operating from the world I can see, feel, hear, taste, and touch.  I was not operating above my circumstances, the way God graciously enables us all to do.  I was living in the flesh, not from the Spirit of God that lives in me.   When we surrender to God, he enables us, through his Spirit, to live in a way that honors him and blesses the people around us, regardless of our circumstances.  When we have issues in our hearts that we have not surrendered to God or that we have not allowed him to infuse with his truth, those issues get in the way of us[…]

Welcome to unwaveringhope.com!  I am so glad you are here. This space was created when my life story was not following the path I expected.  For years, infertility was the main topic of my wrestle.  These days, I find myself sorting through the mental chaos of mothering, wife-ing, friend-ing, teacher-ing, daughter-ing and what-is-my-life-purpose-ing.  As I try to steady my thoughts and park them in a healthy place, God has made one thing clear:  maintaining hope in Him is the key. Check out my blog for a window into my story.

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