Palm Sunday

  Confession:  I sometimes have a hard time getting in to celebrating religious holidays.  I did not grow up going to church very often, so terms like advent, passover, and palm Sunday had little to no meaning.  I celebrated Christmas and Easter, but with Santa and the Easter Bunny.   Now that I am learning to love God with all my heart, Christmas and Easter have such a richer, deeper meaning, but I still have a hard time celebrating them.   I think it feels a little insincere to make such a big deal of Jesus coming to earth only at Christmas or reflecting on what Jesus did on the cross only at Easter.  I want God to know how important I think it is that Jesus died for me every day of the year, not just on the anniversary of what he did.   But then I realize that my thinking is flawed.  If this same principle was applied across the board, I would need to stop celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, mother’s day, etc.   Here’s what I mean:   I love to celebrate birthdays.  I want the person to feel loved and valued and special every day of the year, but I think everyone should have one day a year that they feel extra special.  I doubt anyone who has received an extravagant celebration feels it was insincere, unless they do not feel loved and valued on the other 364 days of the year.   At the risk of being completely obvious, I will just say it:  If Easter is the only time of year that we reflect on what Jesus did, then we ARE being insincere.  If, however, on the other 364 days of the year we affirm what we celebrate on that ONE day of the year, then the extra celebration serves to more deeply root our love and commitment.   So I have concluded that it is good, and completely genuine, to take a day a year to go above and beyond in our thankfulness and adoration.  Just like in preparing for a birthday, some advanced[…]

Supremely Bummed

Supremely Bummed   Yesterday I received devastating news and it did not have anything to do with whether or not I was pregnant.  I guess a change is nice.  I had recently been offered a publishing contract, but yesterday they retracted their offer.  Supremely bummed is the best description I have for how I feel.   I was so excited to have my book available for those whose hearts are tender and fragile and in need of some encouragement.  For a short time, I thought self publishing in an e format would be good, so that those who are currently dealing with infertility could benefit right away.  The day after I submitted my book on Amazon, I received the offer for a book contract.  The thought of having my book in print was nothing short of thrilling, and I realized that a print copy of my book was probably a better tool than an e version.  I imagined how nice it would be for a friend to be able to hand a physical copy of my book to someone they love, letting them know that they are there for them.  When we are hurting, we are less likely to seek out a resource for ourselves, but if one is handed to us, we might just read it.   Unfortunately, the physical copy of my book may take longer to become a reality.  Putting my book on Amazon for 4 days was the reason my book was turned away even though I had not sold a book.  I literally had a publishing contract in my hands but had it taken away with no further explanation.  I did not know that publishing on Amazon for 4 days would cause a problem.  I wish I would have known that ahead of time, but I did not.  I would love to be able to ask the publisher why that was a stopping point for them, yet I am not sure if a greater explanation or more answers would help me feel better.  The truth is, I have only one choice:  learn how to move[…]

Welcome to!  I am so glad you are here. This space was created when my life story was not following the path I expected.  For years, infertility was the main topic of my wrestle.  These days, I find myself sorting through the mental chaos of mothering, wife-ing, friend-ing, teacher-ing, daughter-ing and what-is-my-life-purpose-ing.  As I try to steady my thoughts and park them in a healthy place, God has made one thing clear:  maintaining hope in Him is the key. Check out my blog for a window into my story.

Recent Posts

  • The Day My Patience Was Hiding
      The fruit of the Spirit is…love, joy, peace, PATIENCE…   Well, I was not real full of the Spirit.  I was full of something else, but it was not the Spirit of God. […]
  • Waiting, disappointment, hope?
    Hello there,   This week I did a lot of waiting.  I did a lot of hoping.  In the end, I’m left dealing with disappointment.   You see, I have had a dream ever since I was 13.  Over […]
  • Fresh Beginnings
    Hello! It has been a long time since I ventured into the blogosphere – 2.5 years if we are being specific.  I got distracted.  I lost the vision.  I wasn’t sure I saw the purpose any […]
  • Do What You Want To
    Suspicious yellow puddle next to the toilet.   Toilet leaking or another culprit?   My mom instinct says to call my second born into the bathroom to ask his take on how that yellow liquid […]
  • I Hate Death
                                                                                    Yesterday we had to say good-bye to our beloved kitty of almost 13 years.  I had the undesirable task of taking her to […]
  • Anonymous
    Confession:  I have been avoiding you.  Please don’t take this personally.  I haven’t been avoiding YOU.  I have been avoiding the collective you – all.  I have not blogged for a very long […]
  • Robbers
    A couple weeks ago, I was sitting with Joshua (my 5 year old) in one of the hallways of Alliyah’s school, waiting for Alliyah to be done with an after school meeting.  Joshua observed a mom getting […]
Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial