life Tag

 

Deep

10 Oct 2013 Posted by Jillian in Blog, Drawing Near to God, Motherhood, Quest for Contentment

(I wrote this on paper 3 weeks ago, but did not get a chance to type it out) I am sitting here ready to board an airplane.  My husband and kids are at home.  I am traveling solo, so I have a little “quiet” time, and I am reflecting on this verse:   “Yet I am always with you; You hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.  Whom have I in heaven but you?  And the earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:23-26).   I am not afraid of flying.  I am pretty sure I have boarded an airplane every year (sometimes several times a year) since 1980.  Let’s just say, I have been on a lot of airplanes.   Now that I am a wife and a mom, if I fly without my husband and kids, flying feels a lot more vulnerable than it did as a kid.  I am still not afraid of flying, but I have found a tiny fear of dying, and for some irrational reason, getting on an airplane feels like walking into a potentially life-threatening scenario.  It is completely irrational.  I know that.  I know that the statistics point to the fact that I have a greater likelihood of dying in a car crash than an airplane crash.  I do not think about dying every time I get in a car – probably because I do that more often.  Let’s just call the fear irrational and move on.  This blog post really is not about flying, it is about dying.   Due to the fact that I am traveling alone and I soon have to get some tests done to see if I might have to battle the scary “C” word (cancer), I have been doing a lot of pondering about how I feel toward God if “all the days ordained for me (that were) written in his book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139), were a smaller amount of days than I think or would like.   Aside from the normal…

Barren Trees

18 Mar 2013 Posted by Jillian in Becoming More Like Jesus, Blog, Drawing Near to God, Infertility, Quest for Contentment, Trust

I saw the most beautiful sight tonight as the sun was setting.  Clouds darkened the sky in the east, opposite the setting sun.  Trees lined my view to the south and the sun was just kissing the tops of the trees.  It was absolutely beautiful.  The colors were so dynamic and such a stark contrast.  I could almost see the dark clouds fleeing in fear of the brilliance on the tops of the trees.  (I wish I would have taken a picture.  The picture above is a sunrise.)   It got me wondering if I had ever looked at a barren tree and thought it was beautiful.  Typically, a barren tree is not in its glory – it is more a symbol of death than life.  The Spring brings a completely different story, but as long as it is Winter and no leaves are on the tree, the tree looks barren, empty.  But tonight I looked at several barren trees and was struck by their beauty.   Perhaps it is obvious to you the connection God made for me tonight.  When light shines on anything, it brings out beauty.  Sometimes the darkness that we have had to weather actually makes the beauty that much more brilliant when the light shines because we notice the contrast.   The very nature and principle of light is that is drives away darkness.  Darkness simply can not remain when light is present.  Darkness by definition is actually the absence of light.  It implies that light is not present.   “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12).   Darkness is present in our world, but we do not have to walk around in the thick of it.  Jesus is the Light of the world.  Invite him to be present with you.  He will not come unless invited.  He will stand at the door and knock (Rev. 3:20) because He so desperately wants to drive away the darkness for you.  He is just waiting for the invitation.   …so why do we still experience darkness if we have already invited Him to dwell within us?…

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