I began this blog 8 years ago when I was in the thick of a season of infertility. I hated every minute of it and I desperately wanted that season to end. I was ready for a new season, a new chapter, but someone else was holding the book and refused to turn the page and let me know what was coming next. I had so many unanswerable questions floating through my mind. There was only one Being in the universe who could answer my questions, and He chose to remain silent. I am actually glad he did.
Some of the bigger questions I had when facing infertility were: Why? and When?
Flash forward 12 years since I sat before the Lord with those haunting questions, and I find myself asking them again. I am not wondering if or when God will bless me with a child, but I am wondering why we are in the thick of this unchartered territory, navigating a pandemic. I am wondering when this season will end. I know I am not alone.
I am in the middle of re-reading my book one last time before I send the lessons and pieces of my journey out for the world to see. As I have been reflecting on this really strange time we are living through, I was reminded of this excerpt from the first chapter of Hope Deferred:
Could it be that if He answered our question, we might miss out on a valuable lesson? If we know when the journey is going to be over, we live differently. We live with the destination as the goal as opposed to living in the moment. If our focus is on the end, how often do we live and enjoy each day as a gift? Maybe you have heard the catch phrase, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” It is catchy, but it is also true. Life is a journey with countless ups, downs, stops and changes in scenery. We can get tripped up when we become hyper-focused on any one thing.
Our curiosity about what comes next is exacerbated when things are tough. We think that if we know when the difficulty will end, somehow it will make the journey to get through the challenges easier. How long will I have to endure? Will this pain end in a positive outcome?
Unfortunately, having answers to these nagging questions turns our focus toward the destination (end result) as opposed to teaching us to follow the Guide. You see, if we think we know where we are going, there is no need to follow a guide. The problem is that only the Guide knows the best path to lead you through your troubles. When we take the lead, we tend to look for the most direct route from point A to point B, but we may be unaware of the pitfalls along our path. The Guide may take us a more roundabout way to our destination, but if we trust the Guide, we know that He is leading us down the best possible path for us...
… If you only call on God if you think you have gotten off track (blazing your own trail), there is little opportunity to build a relationship with Him. Your Maker wants to walk with you through this journey, reminding you that you are never truly alone. He wants to teach you how to place your hope in HIM, not in having a baby, or anything else for that matter. If you and I can learn how to keep our hope fixed on the One who never changes, we will never be disappointed.
I do not know a single person who has escaped this season unscathed. We are dealing with disappointments as plans and special events are cancelled or have to be modified. We are dealing with losses, some enormous and some small. We are being made uncomfortable and forced to adjust to a “new normal.” Some are working more strenuously and in higher stress environments than they ever thought possible. Some are forced to take on roles for which they have little or no training. Some are feeling lonely and isolated. Some are wondering how they will pay the bills that faithfully show up when the paycheck is lost. Some are mentally exhausted and ill from battling fears and worries. Some are physically ill.
We are all affected by Covid-19 in some way. We are in this season together. We do not know when the season will end, but we can trust our Guide to help us navigate each day. One day at a time. That’s all we can do and all we are asked to handle.
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ~Matthew 6:34
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” ~Isaiah 26:3
I could use some “perfect peace” right about now. Our world needs peace. The key to having that inner peace, even amidst a challenging season, is keeping our minds stubbornly set on trusting God. All He asks us to do is put one foot in front of the other as we follow Him.
Here’s what following Him looks like for me through this season:
- Praying for people I know personally who are struggling and/or battling on the “frontlines.”
- Praying for people I don’t know, but who God knows, who need peace.
- Praying for healing for the sick, and for this virus to be stopped.
- Asking God to showing me if there is anything I can DO – as in action. As He leads, I follow and I do.
- I am learning to rest in Him. The Guide knows when we need rest.
- I am learning to embrace the lessons to be learned, the growth within, and opportunities that ARE rather than the ones that are not.
- I am also asking God to make me aware of the other things that are happening in people’s lives. The coronavirus does not get to be center-stage. There are so many other important things happening that deserve great attention – both celebrations and times of mourning.
Years ago, as I was battling infertility and asking God Why? and When?, I eventually came to realize that I didn’t really need answers to those questions. What I needed most, was to know that I was not alone. I needed to know that God would be with me and that I could trust Him and lean on Him when the trail got tough. I hope you know and experience the peace that comes from having Him with you each step of the way. You are not alone. We will get through this.
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